i don't, and never did like HEROES!

My husband loves the show heroes, as a result I see or overhear a lot of it. I don't like it. Most of the cast is good, it's not that. I love x-men, so it's not the genre. I think it's boring. And I know you all disagree and that's okay. You can love it. But I don't, so don't try to convince me.

How am I otherwise?
Amazing, thanks for wondering.

I'm no longer a slave to a full time job. I'm poor, but I'm so happy it's worth it. Today so many opportunities came up. Follow up interviews, auditions, a mint milkshake, I'm feeling pretty good.

I love mint milkshakes. Shamrock or otherwise.

It's true what they say about L.A. it takes two years to settle in. Los Angeles is a disguising filthy city. It's an urban wasteland. It's what I imagine the world would look like after some sort of nuclear holocaust. But if you embrace that, you will love it. And in two years time you will feel at home.

Maybe the same is true for heroes. I'm not as interested in falling in love with heroes as I am the city I live in.

I have an audition tomorrow for the oxygen channel. I'm nervous because I may get yelled at by picketing writers. Eeee. I hope this writer's strike thing ends soon. I want the writers to get what they want but more so I am just tired about everyone talking about it.

I'm so dreamy right now.
I think I'll go to bed so I don't have to listen to heroes.

love
love
love

there comes a time in every woman's life when she needs tupperware.

There comes a time in every woman's life, the moment you realize there is no turning back, the moment you realize some weird combination of tin foil and ziploc baggies are not gonna cut it, the moment you realize.....you need tupperware.

"You're not gonna like me in the morning." My coward husband said as he snuck into bed last night. I later found out he had put our leftover dinner on a plate and covered it with a pot top. The pot top was pushed hard against the food flattening it, much like Aly Sheedy's sandwich making techniques in the Breakfast Club.

Half covered onions lazily rolled in saran wrap.

Cheese's original plastic wrap scotch taped back together.

I never thought I'd need tupperware.
Maybe for a prop in a play or something to put loose change in, but never for storing food.

There comes a time in every woman's life when she needs tupperware.
And that moment has come for this woman.

Screw OFF Scarlett O'Hara!

Why do I care if Scarlett O'Hara succeeds?

She's a bitch!

I hate when talkies are about an asshole but they're the main character so you're tricked into routing for them. And then like half way through the movie you're like:

Wait a minute! She should starve and die! Because she's a bitch!
And why am I watching this six hour movie anyways? She better starve and die because if she lives or gets her way that means I'm watching a movie about an unjust world and that's retarded! I'm stuck in an unjust world so I don't want to excape to one in a movie! I could be wasting my time getting screwed over by a real life bitch!

So screw off Scarlett O'hara and anyone who thinks she's an American hero! Being a bitch doesn't make you a strong woman! Are you writing this down Jane Austen? Because I'm talking to you!

Amanda on her Back-O

I took a spill.
It was a dark day.
I was running to jump on stage.
Didn't see a step.
And went down.
The next thing I remember, I was laying on my back.

I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, when she woke up to everyone looking at her.
"And you were there, and you were there, and DAMNNN BOY-EEE!!! My BACK-HE HURT!

So two days later I'm still sore. I'm being a baby but I don't hurt myself much so when I do it finally gives me something to talk about!

Honestly though, I'm really praying that I never get cancer or something serious because I am a really pitiful sick person. I cough when I don't even having a cold. I want to be in Little Women just to play the dying one!

Anyway. I'm going to treat myself to an Excedrin and a cold compress.
love you!

boys with girl names

I don’t think boys should be named: Rene, Ashley, Dana, Marion, Kelly, Patty, Chrissy, Danielle, Shelly, Tamara, or Frank.

Call me old fashioned, but that’s just how I feel.

Now that I’ve got that of my chest I’d like to address a bigger problem.

Was man really on the moon?

Lance Armstrong, Buzz Lightyear, and Tom Hanks supposedly landed on the moon. That’s what we’ve been told, that’s what we are taught in school. But is that what actually happened?

It’s recently been brought to my attention not to believe everything I hear. My friends think I’m too “gullible” or “naïve” or “a dum-dum.” And so it is for them that I must prove myself to be an inquisitive and thoughtful being.

Did man really land on the moon?

Or is it all a big movie set? And they drugged the astronauts up on “space drugs” so that they don’t actually remember what happened but they are like “yeah sure I’m a hero.” And the moon is really another planet that’s like Earth’s twin. Everyone on earth has like a pissed off tiny moon twin. And they sit up on the moon and are like “come on! I dare you to fly here and we’ll kick your ass and put you in an earth-human zoo like that episode of the moon twilight zone that we moon people like so much!”

So many questions I have about things that I don’t believe to be true. What a stronger person I’ve become through the gentle guidance of friends.

Time Marches Death

My Garth Merenghi Fan Fiction. (If you don't yet know this masterfully inspiring legitimate horror writer look him up.)

Dedicated to Mikaela Siegel

Twilight engulfed what was left of her face as the enormous grandfather clock chimed midnight. Another day. But was is? No, it was her birthday. She lay motionless for a while as it all sunk in.

“It’s my birthday. Birthday? Birthday,” she said to herself as she examined her injuries. She was confused and off-putting to say the least. Hell hath no fury like a hell beast from hell.

She was a demon slayer. Not a job she chose but a job that chose her. People who have a calling often don’t have a choice in that matter. For example, a horror writer.

Another year older would prove difficult on her ever aging body that was tired of being in the best physical condition ever. Her curvaceous hips and supple bosoms were no exception in the best physical condition comment. She was a beautiful human specimen. But to her, it was all part of the job.

A demon showed up and she stabbed him with her weapon and he died. Oozing blue demon blood. Because that’s the color of demon blood. Blue. Yes, Blue. She wiped her weapon off as the spirits from hell made the demon corpse turn invisible.

“Can I do a whole ‘nother year of this?” It was a rhetorical question because she knew she had to.

And then her sexy boyfriend rode up on his bronco. The horse not the car. He was a sexy horror novel writer. “Hey Babe, ready to get out of here?”

Yes she said. Then they had a good day on her birthday intermittently having demons try to kill her but they were used to it by now so it didn’t ruin her party that they had for her. At the end of the day they enjoyed love making with her on top on her boyfriend’s water bed.

“This is the best birthday ever!” She yelled as she climaxed.

“You deserve it babe, now let me hold you and read the novel I wrote today.”

“That sounds good hon.” She loved hearing his latest masterpiece.

He began, “Twilight engulfed what was left of her face as the enormous grandfather clock chimed midnight…………………………………………………………….

Another excerpt from Harry Potter 7: The Last Battle

Harry stood on the dock surrounded by Death Eaters. He held his wand
up to Voldemort’s body hoping it would stop the Death Eaters from finishing him off.

“Lower your wand Potter! Or you shall be destroyed.” Voldemort hissed.

Harry’s scar seared in pain but he ignored it. He had to act now or he’d be dead.

“Shoot him! Shoot him!! Harry Potter is the key to our undoing; he brought me here to kill me and Dan Marino with magic, now Shoot him!” screamed the Dark Lord. But no action was made for Harry’s wand was firmly raised.

“O, ho! Fiction can be fun! But I find the Hogwarts reference section much more enlightening.” Harry’s confidence was overpowering. He could feel that Voldemort was weak.

“For instance,” Harry continued, “if you were to look up 'the professional wizarding world’s all time bonehead plays', you might read about an ambitious Slytherin youth named Tom Marvolo Riddle, who unlocked the Chamber of Secrets!”

Harry sucked in a magical deep breath. Harry then spoke faster than any wizard ever did.

“What you wouldn't read about is how Tom Riddle was a half blood, muggle-raised delusionist who lost his mind, and killed under the assumed identity of the Dark Lord Voldemort, seducing his way to the top, in a diabolical plan to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing!!!” Harry took a breath; it was good to breathe again.

The Death Eaters stood in shock and disbelief. But Harry could see they were not swaying.

“Would a real Dark Lord need one of these?” Harry was hoping to grab the mask off of Voldemort. Harry’s hand burned with pain as he found that it’s wasn’t a mask it was his real snake like face.

“Boy that’s really on there.” Harry was desperate.

“Would the master of all evil be traipsing around with a fake dark mark?” Harry placed his thumb on Voldemort’s forearm and every Death Eater’s Dark Mark in the room glowed with fury.

Harry had one last chance, the thought to Dumbledore. “I open at the close.” He had it! How had he not seen the answer before! It was so simple.

“If you do not believe me, maybe this will convince you! Accio robe!” Voldemort’s robe came flying off.

Confusion set in as the Death Eater’s looked to each other for clarification.

“Psst… Harry. Come here.” Dan Marino struggled to get Harry Potter’s attention.

“Shoot him. Shoot him, now!!” A down to the underwear weakened Voldemort yelled.

Marino whispered something magical in Harry’s ear. He grew confident again. He once more addressed the crowd.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my esteemed colleague Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive wizard minds can be wrong, from time to time. But, if I have been mistaken… if the Voldemort is indeed a woman then my friends, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen!!!” Harry said as he spun Voldemort around revealing to everyone Voldemort’s male genitalia tucked up between his legs.

All of the Death Eaters stood stunned. And then it was a chain reaction of spitting spells red and green lights flew as the Death Eaters spit and spat to get out any remnants of Voldemort because he had made out with all of them and they were all grossed out because they thought he was female. And Dan Marino spit too. And so did Warwick Davis who was dressed up as a dolphin called snowflake.